#38 Gaslighting

Reclaim your self worth

Hi,

Welcome to Edition #38 of Think Visuals Newsletter!

The theme of this edition is- Gaslighting

I have curated the following for you:

1. Visual Summary - What is Gaslighting?

2. Visual Book Summary - The Gaslight Effect, Dr. Robin Stern

3. Visual Summary - Strategies to reclaim and heal

4. Reflective Questions

Let’s Plunge!

Happy Visual Synthesis :)

Shilpa

Check out my portfolio sscoopsthinkvisuals.com

1. What is Gaslighting ?

Have you experienced any of these situations at work:

• A coworker taking credit for your ideas while claiming you never shared them

• Being told you’re “overreacting” or “too sensitive” when raising valid concerns

• Being excluded from important information and then blamed for not knowing.

• Instances where facts are distorted, blaming you for project failures, undermining your confidence with constant criticism.

• Making you feel constantly inadequate despite your best efforts.

These are all instances of ‘Gaslighting’.

In the workplace, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where an individual—often a supervisor or manager—systematically undermines your confidence and causes you to doubt your professional competence and reality. Power and authority are fundamental, enabling components of gaslighting, functioning as tools for one person to establish domination, control, and psychological manipulation over another. Gaslighting is never played out obviously. It is a covert behavior that you experience.

It therefore helps to recognize certain patterns in your interaction with people. Here is my visual summary that can set you thinking and act as a good starting point to identify gaslighting.

2. Visual Book Summary

Coined by psychologist Dr. Robin Stern in her 2007 book The Gaslight Effect, the term describes a specific dynamic of emotional abuse that requires two participants: a gaslighter, who needs to be right to maintain power, and a gaslightee, who allows the gaslighter to define their reality in order to maintain the relationship or gain approval. This book will give you the how and why, and also show you how you can opt out of it. You are part of the problem & the solution. I highly recommend this book for anyone trying to untangle themselves from toxic relationships be it at work or in any relationship.

I love how the book nudges us to stop using the victim card, or how it takes for two to tango- both the gaslighter and the gaslightee & asks us to take responsibility for our own behavior. Here is the visual summary of the key concepts discussed in the book.

3. Visual Summary: Strategies to overcome

Like mentioned earlier, its a covert behavior pattern which you will know/ sense intuitively when you engage with certain people.

I remember experiencing this suffocation with a particular manager that I was working with. I didn’t know it was gaslighting back then, now I know. I remember being blamed for things that she would forget, putting me in a zone of self doubt, making me doubt my capability, etc. It was a mentally draining experience to work with this manager because I had to face her & show up every single day. I still remember feeling anxious, deflated & miserable in my stint with her. Anyway, those are bitter experiences with lessons learnt. I really wish I had discovered this book then. But better late than never.

Here is my Visual Summary of some powerful strategies to recognize these patterns & reclaim one’s sense of self by trusting inner feelings and setting boundaries as explained in the book. You will notice that all these are steps that you will need to take, act on things which are within your control, to combat gaslighting & to make things work for your wellbeing at work.

4. Reflective Questions

I would like to leave you with these reflective questions to ponder:

• Does the person dismiss my feelings by calling me “too sensitive,” “dramatic,” or “crazy”?

• Do I feel like I’m “walking on eggshells” to avoid setting them off?

• Do I often second-guess my memory of events after speaking to this person?

• Have I lost confidence in my ability to make simple decisions?

• What behavior do I refuse to tolerate ever again?

• What is one small step I can take to protect my mental health?

If you have ever experienced gaslighting at work, would love to hear what was your coping mechanism.

That’s all in this edition. Hope the topic & visuals resonated with you. Drop in your comments.

See you in the next edition! Until then keep blooming :)